from pp. 67-69, "Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers"
Smitty(Dr. Bob's son)recalled that although his father was pretty nervous, he was sober when they drove over to Henrietta's(Sieberling) house to meet this fellow who might help him. "I did not sit in on that meeting, of course, being a kid at the time, and Mother wanted Dad to open up in front of Bill. So I have no knowledge of what transpired there. However, I remember Bill came to stay at our house shortly afterward.
Describing his meeting with the man "who was to be my partner. . .the wonderful friend with whom I was never to have a hard word," Bill said, "Bob did not look much like a founder. He was shaking badly. Uneasily, he told us that he could stay only about 15 minutes.
"Though embarassed, he brightened a little when I said I thought he needed a drink. After dinner, which he did not eat, Henrietta discreetly put us off in her little library. There Bob and I talked until 11 o'clock."
. . .What did he say to Dr. Bob that hadn't already been said? How important were the words? How important compared to the fact that it was one alcoholic talking to another? No one can say precisely. Indeed, Dr. Bob and Bill themselves placed slightly different emphases on the factors involved.
. . .Describing their talk as "a completely mutual thing." Bill said, "I had quit preaching. I knew that I needed this alcoholic as much as he needed me. This was it. And this mutual give-and-take is at the very heart of all A.A.'s Twelfth Step work today."
Dr. Bob noted that Bill "...gave me information about the subject of alcoholism which was undoudtedly helpful.
"Of far more importance," he continued, "was the fact that he was the first living human with whom I had ever talked who knew what he was talking about in regard to alcoholism from actual experience. In other words, he talked my language. He knew all the answers, and certainly not because he had picked them up in his reading."
Whatever Bill said--and in the course of some five hours of conversation, he must have thrown in everything he ever knew or thought or guessed about alcoholism, and told the long version of his story to boot--Bob stopped drinking immediately.
Bill seemed to place more emphasis on what he was saying than on the fact that it was he himself saying it, while Bob indicated that, although it was helpful, he had heard most of it before. Important to him was the fact that another alcoholic was telling him. If William James, Carl Jung, and Dr. Silkworth, along with Frank Buchman and all the members of the Oxford Group, had been doing the talking, it would have been just another lecture."
Note:
It could be noted here that Dr. Bob stayed sober for two weeks after that first meeting. The lesson of "staying out of slippery places" was alive even then. Dr. Bob went to an A.M.A. convention and began drinking as soon as he got on the train to the convention. He proceeded on a five day bender followed by a three day sobering up with Bill and Anne, Dr. Bob's wife. After that he never had another drink, and died sober fifteen years later. (Bob J.)